Friday, June 24, 2016

Self-Talk: Know When Your Beliefs are Blocking Your Success (pt. 2)

* This article is PART 2 of 3 and is taken from our forthcoming book, "Bankrolling Your Mind" which will be published later this summer.


Limiting beliefs are quite simply those hindering beliefs that constrain a person’s full potential. They are the walls that stop expansion and the ceiling that prohibits you from rising to extraordinary heights. If you’ve ever believed yourself to be not good enough, inadequate or unworthy, or accepted failure without putting forth an honest effort then you maintained a particular limiting belief associated with that behavior or pattern. You find yourself boxed in from your own self-imposed barriers and helplessly shackled to the dungeon floor.

In addition to limiting beliefs, another form of internal blocks come as limiting decisions, which are just as dangerous and detrimental to our growth. Simply put, these are the choices to do less than what’s necessary. To use an analogy, if you need to put ten gallons of gas into your car to get to where you’re going but you only put in five gallons, knowing that it won’t be enough, then you set yourself up to fall short of your destination because insufficiently fueling your vehicle won’t allow for the desired outcome. Likewise, it’s these poor choices, self-sabotaging behaviors, and half-assed efforts that keep people in the cycle of mediocrity.

It’s important to understand how these limiting beliefs and decisions come into existence. Without diving too deep into the nature vs. nurture discussion we can easily state that these harmful and inhibiting beliefs can be both self-imposed and adopted. Whether self-created or appropriated from outside forces, many times these limiting beliefs are influenced by those closest to us directed under the guise of advice.

Go ahead and think about how many times you didn’t do something that you really wanted to do because a family member, friend, or associate said:
            “You shouldn’t try that because I already tried and it’s too hard” or
            “Don’t get your hopes up” or
            “Stop dreaming those crazy dreams and come back to reality like everybody else”

Whoa! Hang on a tick. Rich, are you saying that my friends and loved ones want to hold me down and see me fail? No, of course not. Their advice and suggestions are well-intended however misplaced. Remember, toddlers learning to walk and children trying to ride a bike for the first time are meant to fall down and skin their knees. A parent who swoops in to coddle the child and discourage future attempts only impairs the child and enables failure. However, a parent who offers a quick loving embrace and firm encouragement will surely foster growth and empowerment to drive forward.

Now be honest with yourself. What are the thoughts that you think about yourself? What are the words that you say to yourself? Does your self-talk take on superhero qualities, which are positive, serving, and moving you towards greatness or villainous qualities that are negative, destructive, and self-sabotaging? In other words, do you speak highly of yourself and motivate yourself to achieve or do you doubt your abilities and put yourself down?



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